Masturbation and solo sex

How common

Masturbation is close to universal. The US National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior (Herbenick et al., 2010, n = 5,865) found that among adults aged 25–29, 84 percent of men and 72 percent of women reported masturbating in the past year. Rates remain substantial across every age band into the eighties. It occurs at similar or higher rates among people in relationships than those without, which contradicts the deficit model — it is not a substitute for partnered sex but a separate activity.

Documented benefits

• Sexual self-knowledge. Directed masturbation programmes have the strongest evidence base of any treatment for lifelong anorgasmia (Heiman and LoPiccolo protocols and subsequent trials), because knowing what works alone transfers to partnered contexts.
• Sleep and stress. Orgasm releases oxytocin and prolactin and reduces cortisol; self-reported improvements in sleep and tension are consistent, though controlled trial evidence is limited.
• Pain. Small studies find orgasm reduces menstrual and migraine pain in a subset of people.
• Prostate health. Rider et al. (2016, European Urology), following 31,925 men in the Health Professionals Follow-up Study for 18 years, found that men reporting 21 or more ejaculations per month had roughly a 20 percent lower risk of prostate cancer compared with 4–7 per month. Observational, with confounding possible, but consistent with earlier Australian work.
• Pelvic floor and tissue. Regular arousal maintains blood flow to genital tissue, which is relevant after menopause and after prostate surgery, where "use it or lose it" has some clinical basis in penile rehabilitation protocols.
• Safety. No STI risk and no pregnancy risk.

Myths that persist

Masturbation does not cause blindness, hair loss, acne, infertility, erectile dysfunction, low testosterone, or mental illness. It does not "use up" sperm; production is continuous. Testosterone does not fall from abstinence in any clinically meaningful way; short-term fluctuation studies show no sustained benefit to abstaining. "Semen retention" and NoFap claims about superpowers, focus and testosterone have no supporting evidence; the one plausible mechanism in that literature — reducing compulsive use that interferes with life — is a genuine issue and is addressed below without the surrounding mythology.

There is no correct frequency. Ranges from never to several times a day are all within normal.

Technique and safety

• Lubricant reduces friction injury and expands what is possible. Dry, tight, high-pressure technique — sometimes called death grip — can condition a response that partnered sex cannot replicate; varying grip, pressure and pace resolves it over weeks.
• Water pressure directly into the vagina or urethra is not safe. External shower-head use is fine.
• Household objects without a flared base should never be inserted anally. Objects that can break, splinter, or have sharp edges should not be inserted anywhere.
• Vibrators do not cause permanent desensitisation. Herbenick et al. (2009) found vibrator use associated with better sexual function scores; temporary numbness resolves.
• Clean toys before and after every use.
• Autoerotic asphyxiation is the highest-mortality sexual practice recorded, causes deaths every year, and cannot be made safe when practised alone. There is no safe solo method.

When it is a problem

Frequency alone is not the measure. The criteria that matter are functional: missing work or commitments, injuring yourself, escalating to content that distresses you, using it to avoid all intimacy, or persistent distress about it. ICD-11 recognises compulsive sexual behaviour disorder as an impulse control disorder; it is not classified as an addiction, and the "porn addiction" framing is not accepted by WHO or the DSM. Where distress is driven by religious or cultural shame rather than by functional impairment, the evidence — including Grubbs et al.'s work on moral incongruence — indicates the distress tracks the shame rather than the behaviour, and treating the shame is the more effective route.

In relationships

Masturbation within a relationship is normal, not a betrayal or a comment on a partner. Where one partner is distressed by it, the underlying issue is usually mismatched desire, secrecy or feeling displaced, and that is what is worth addressing directly.

Sources

• Herbenick D et al. "Sexual behavior in the United States: results from a national probability sample of men and women ages 14–94." Journal of Sexual Medicine, 2010.
• Rider JR et al. "Ejaculation frequency and risk of prostate cancer: updated results with an additional decade of follow-up." European Urology, 2016.
• Herbenick D et al. "Prevalence and characteristics of vibrator use by women in the United States." Journal of Sexual Medicine, 2009.
• Heiman JR, LoPiccolo J. Becoming Orgasmic, and directed masturbation trial evidence.
• WHO. ICD-11, 6C72 Compulsive sexual behaviour disorder.
• Grubbs JB et al. "Perceived addiction to Internet pornography and psychological distress: examining relationships concurrently and over time." Psychology of Addictive Behaviors, 2015.

Last reviewed: August 2026.